tree of life

Like religion, spirituality, education, etc., I tend to take what is meaningful to me and leave the rest. And so it goes with the tree of life. I love the phrase tree of life and the English major in me loves to analyze those words and images. What came about for me is pretty simple. Trees are full of symbolism. They are life, they produce life and sustenance. Like women, they are life givers, mothers. That resonates with me so I put the goddess in the tree to illustrate the feminine of my tree of life. She is next to Lyra & Leo because I gave birth to those lives. The tree has several branches that stem from the trunk but go in their own directions. The various parts of my life that add up to my whole self and aren’t defined alone or individually. I am not a mother only, or a wife only, etc. The leaves are red to humanize the tree – the blood of life. And more like some of the known descriptions of the tree of life, I am rooted in the earth but reach toward my spiritual self. So, that’s my tattoo. :)

This link gives brief descriptions of the tree of life in different cultures, religions, etc.
http://altreligion.about.com/library/weekly/aa102902a.htm

happy birthday to me!

Eric made my 33rd birthday so wonderful. Sometimes, I see these glimpses of that romance we had when we first met. I am a lucky lady!

He surprised me Saturday by taking me to dinner at this fabulous restaurant



When we got to the table, there was a red rose and a box with a ring from this gorgeous designer engraved to say: Eric loves Courtney
http://www.beckythatcherdesigns.com/vision/?PHPSESSID=90069a2d9d0dc8e6fb916b7512adcd96


After dinner, we got back in the van and there was a white rose with a card containing 2 tickets here:
http://www.oldtownplayhouse.com/

& perhaps the best part of the evening is that he arranged this overnight!

royal wedding

today i attended the royal wedding of princess liey (a stuffed lion) and prince honk honk (a stuffed dragon/dinosaur?)

boys vs girls

leo - boys pee and poop. girls only poop

me - girls pee, too.

leo - but girls don't have a penis

me - nope, they have vaginas.

leo - but when you get older you grow a penis and pee?

bleepin' cold!

oh, how i dread the common cold! this week of all weeks to get it, too! i started my internship yesterday (when this cold began); i had to cancel kindergarten round-up for lyra cause i couldn't stop sneezing (today). how do you swallow the guilt you feel when they look so disappointed?

tomorrow, i have to begin my weekly drive to grand rapids (5 hours round-trip) for my practicum where i begin counseling actual clients in front of a two-way mirror! arg. i hope my friend airborne can work this time!

what can i learn from this? i think sickness is a body's way of saying, "hey! pay attention to me! slow down and notice how you are feeling. enjoy the healthy times and take the sick times as an opportunity to be present in the moment."
illness is pretty adamant that you take notice of the present moment! :)

end of Tolle vs anything, onto discussions not debate

For those of you I invited to read and comment on A New Earth, my project was short-lived. It turns out that rightwinged, open-minded me is not up to the task of debating :( It's too bad that the discussion will end here but it is wonderful for me to realize how closely my beliefs are to my heart. Who knew that former-atheist, then agnostic Courtney would turn out to be a believer in anything? I still am open to discussions from people who find truth in Tolle's work - I just don't want to debate. This is my resignation letter I posted on the site:


Andie, I need to apologize to you. I fear I have been judgmental in my very insistance that people keep an open mind. Irony is the best. Also, I've come to agree, to a certain degree, with the warning about reading blindly. Who am I to say that A New Earth will appeal to anyone's idea of peace, etc. The flip side for me is that reading your doctrine has put me in a state of sadness and anxiety. I know that sounds extreme to you since it gives you peace of mind and faith. I don't mean it offensively. I think it simply illustrates just how differently we view life. I am thankful that we both ultimately want love and peace for everyone so if we stay off this topic, we are great. Maybe down the road, I will revisit this with you. I do love a good debate but I've realized this is just too close to my soul to debate the subject. I want good things for all people but the truth is, educating readers isn't worth the negative energy i experience. i know you don't mean it negatively and i apologize for my part in handing you negativity, as well! i am happy for everyone who finds their spiritual self, however they get there. truly.

how i came to this decision was rather strange for me. i asked a friend her advice for what i was feeling which should have been a sign to me that i wasn't doing anyone any good, you know? that was my first red flag. anyway, today at church, we had a guest speaker talking about mastery. mastery of your life, etc. i wish i could remember the exact words he spoke that got me to open up the way i did. something about everything we need from God, we have inside already. it's just a matter of getting past the space that we've put between us and our spirit. he spoke about wasted time that is ultimately time detracted from God and my spirit. he asked us during meditation to think about something we needed to let go and i was filled with this feeling that i had judged you and others unfairly. tears welled up. he asked that we breathe out and let it go. then, he said to fill that space with something we desired for ourselves and i felt acceptance (for others and myself) is what i was missing. i couldn't stop crying. that has never happened to me before. i wasn't sad or mad, more like clear. this was my first experience of feeling god that close to me. as i read over this, it sounds awfully dramatic and not exactly related to this blog. i can't explain it, i just know that much of my experience today was about our discussions here.

i love you and your willingness to discuss just about anything with me. i am sad that we can't share our spirituality but i know in my heart that even though we arrive there differently, we do get there.

migun massage

sheesh. i just wrote a blog and lost it, somehow. maybe it's a sign that i should let these images speak for themselves. i highly recommend you find a migun store near you. they let you buy unlimited massages for a month for only $30 and other great deals. our store even has movie nights, yoga, laughing seminars, etc. it's great and the massages feel sooo good. it realigns your spine. hope you get to enjoy!