flowers convey so much...

flowers for no reason have to be the best surprise ever. thanks for making my grateful list so easy, my love!

no time like the present

so, i am rushing to get out of work and head home. my thought was - i'm in a rush and don't have time to blog. but that's a cop out and i'm trying to stop doing that. so brief but meaningful is the message today. still working on that assertivenes business. it came up in group tonight and a client stated that she didn't want to be "bitchy." bitchy to share her opinion, her feelings, her fears? these ladies have addiction biting at their heels but are risking relapse in order not to make another feel uncomfortable? i think this assertiveness thing is bigger than i imagined.

anyhoo...

so grateful...

• that my husband has decided not to work saturdays anymore!
• farmers' market
• braids make my hair wavy
• beach sundays
• job prospects
• my children bring so much joy to my world
• getting through less-than-joyous days
• hope

speak up!

one of the messages i give again and again is the importance of being assertive. so many of us have the tendency to hide our emotions because we fear them. we fear that they are unimportant, wrong, or that they might anger others. I try to help clients understand and believe that they are important and worthy of respect, happiness, and love. We work together on how to express themselves appropriately but assertively. So, why is it when I feel affronted, my impulse is to shut down, shy away, and pretend nothing is wrong. What an eye-opener. I practiced, somewhat messily, my own advice yesterday and i'm  not sure it helped much. however, i will say that i didn't regret the words after they were out. i stand behind them. i just have to be prepared for whatever reaction might follow. how old am i? sheesh.

ever grateful, though -

• my husband's unending love to me and our children
• my cozy bed
• big brother is on tonight
• my work day allows me some alone time in the morning
• temperatures are comfortable
• books on tape (cd, actually)
• the education my clients offer me each day

roller coaster ride...

When I was 18 years old, my uncle told me that the years would begin to fly by and before i knew it, I'd be his age. I'm not there, yet but that was nearly 20 years ago but feels like last week. He has since passed along with countless moments. When I close my eyes, I feel that roller coaster depicted at the end of "Parenthood." Some days, it makes me dizzy, others I'm terrified. Today, I think I'll close my eyes and let go...

My gratefuls:

• my son who says "i love your heart"
• my husband
• my daughter who laughs with her whole body
• my son with the wisdom of an old man
• windy summer days
• cherry season

"Beautiful for you, momma"

Summer in Traverse City is the most beautiful thing I've experienced (just ask National Geographic http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/best-trips-summer-2012/#/traverse-michigan-summer-trips_52799_600x450.jpg). Beginning each day with meditation, crocheting or listening to an audio book at the beach has definitely been a highlight of my job change. But I continue to look for another job. For obvious reasons - more money, benefits. But part of me questions my other motives...am I ever satisfied? Can we take goal setting and advancement too far? Or am I really compelled to leave this job because I'm done and ready to try something else? Hm..for today, I choose to be grateful to have the job at all.

 Other gratitudes:

• My 3-year-old son always shows me flowers or jewelry and says "beautiful for you, momma!"
• Crochet
• clients who no-show (is that terrible?)
• ice-cold water
• mini date with the hubs yesterday
• Pandora radio
• film fest tonight!